What is the Difference between Real Love and Fake Love

Love. What an exciting and fantastic feeling. When love is real, it feels like time is motionless, that no matter how bad it gets or how daunting life could seemingly be, with real love, all those feelings go away in an instant. When the love is real, it almost feels like a movie or a fairytale with no subsequent ending. Love, I believe, if genuine, can bridge the gap between one person’s values and someone else’s. However, although real love can prompt and amplify these beautiful emotions, fake love can also. However, when we talk about fake love, we are talking about the intention of one person loving another. And in these instances, we can sometimes mistake love for “lust” or “Boredom.” These two concepts are very crucial when talking about relationships, so I want to give my opinions and thoughts on the subject.

So what was the reason for bringing up this topic?

Although the topic might seem straightforward and obvious, the reason why I bring it up is that, in many cases, when I see a struggling relationship, most of the time, one glaring problem that I observe is simply a lack of love. In other words, they do not want to do the little things to make the relationship work. So when I see a dysfunctional relationship, I always ask, is their love real or if it isn’t, how did it become fake love? These questions aren’t so simple. You can’t simply go into someone’s brain and record the exact moment when the love that they had for their partner suddenly changed or just vanished. It’s impossible. However, if you are around such dysfunction (as I’ve sadly had to watch), you begin to see that this fake love is prompted by other intentions that the person has rather than just love. Instead, they are prompted by sexual emotions (that’s where lust comes in), benefits that the person provides them (financial, emotional, etc.), or simply trying to entertain multiple people for the fun of it, the exhilaration that they feel in the moment. Sadly, what I’ve learned about fake love is that after a while, the feelings and motivations that the person has simply fade away and dwindle. And once they have finished using and practically abusing “their” person, they leave with no trace or evidence of their disappearance. And the cycle continues. So, how does someone get into this situation in the first place?

How does this fake love begin?

Most of the time, this fake love is something many cannot see coming. Initially, the person seems trustworthy and committed to only getting to know you. And throughout their vicious cycle, they play a beautiful role of being someone you can count on. Other times, there are unfortunate external situations in one’s life that prompt people to search for that love and security. And upon their desperate search, they meet one of these people with intentions to use them and not to care for them. And they become so wrapped up in what they believe they deserve that they create fantasies about what that other person is truly providing them within that relationship. And sadly, after a while, they learn not to trust the people they love. In the end, one party leaves emotionally damaged, sometimes permanently, while the other leaves proud and accomplished of their deeds, looking for the next person to hurt. It’s an unfortunate thing but very present in today’s society.

Who Creates these “Monsters”?

Rather than thinking about who creates these “monsters,” I would like to think about how these people are created. You see, I don’t believe that one person is making these types of people to roam the earth in search of people to hurt. Instead, I think that it’s particular situations that people have gone through that prompt them to believe that they must live in such a damaging way. This could be the way that they grew up, their culture, their family dynamic, the environment that they are in, previous relationships, the music and media they consume, etc. There are multiple things that a person can go through and experience that make them believe that having fake love is sometimes better than real love. And although I can’t solve all of the world’s problems through this post, I can make people more aware of it.

How do we avoid these situations and tell when the love is fake?

1) Know the type of person that you are getting intimate with before it gets too serious.

Many times when we are looking for someone to love, we are not careful enough and just let whoever we want come into our lives without being precautious or aware of their intentions.

2) Understand what you want before searching for love

Sometimes when people look for a relationship, they don’t know what they want from it which allows for conflicts as that person might not be receiving the proper love that they want from the relationship or gives the other person the freedom to do whatever they want with you while in that relationship.

3) LOVE YOURSELF BEFORE LOVING OTHERS

I would probably say that if there is a golden rule to this, number 3 would be it. It is CRUCIAL to love yourself before looking to love someone else. You need to be ensured in what you have and be satisfied with yourself before allowing someone else to also aid you in that process. At the end of the day if you don’t love yourself, who will. You can only love someone else as much as you love yourself.