“I wish I had what they had,” or “Why am I not as good as this person.” I hear these two joint statements when people compare themselves to others. Although initially, it might seem like statements that detail one person wanting something that someone else possesses or has, in actuality, it’s deeper than that. When we often compare ourselves to others, we forget the importance and quality of our own progress and want what someone else has to compensate for it. Comparing ourselves to others is an interesting topic to think about. So let’s get right to it.

How does comparison begin?

Whenever we begin focusing on our own progress and strive for our own greatness, it can sometimes be draining or upsetting to see someone doing better than us. Whether you are an athlete, work at a corporate job, have a business you aspire to build, or are really doing anything, there will always be someone better than you. That’s just how life goes. People are placed on this earth and equipped with different or unique abilities that allow them to outperform others or even you. And sometimes, when we are being surpassed, it can be tough not to compare ourselves to them. I mean, in reality, they emulate where you want to be. So why not compare yourself to them?

Why Comparing yourself actually doesn’t accomplish anything.

When we compare ourselves to others, we usually want what they have. We’re envious of their success. Because we believe that we should be at their level. But we just aren’t. And when we inherently compare ourselves to these people who are better than us, we either gain motivation from it (which is rare), or most of the time, we don’t take the necessary actions to strive for that same level of greatness. We blame others for not being at the level we should be. Or we’re just so upset that some people are more successful than us that we give up and stay average for the rest of our lives.

When I was playing basketball, I would sometimes fall into this habit. I always thought I needed to be as good as the person next to me to compete and gain the respect I wanted. Instead, after my injuries, I knew my progress was at a different level than everyone else’s. I had been through unique challenges and didn’t have the same physical abilities as everyone else. Instead, I focused on the things in my control and became better every day. And in that habit of comparison, I learned growth. After a while, I became better than the people I was comparing myself to initially.

I learned from comparing myself that it didn’t help me. Although I wished I hadn’t gotten injured and could truly live out my basketball dreams, I became more grateful for my hardships because they made me stronger and more resilient than everyone else. It made me realize that my progress was the only important thing I had to worry about. I can’t control others and be them. So why worry about them? It’s genuinely just me, myself, and I. 

How do we start focusing on our growth and less on comparing ourselves to others?

1) Focus on yourself, not others 

You’re on a different journey than everyone else. Focus on your own growth and how you can be better today than you were yesterday.

2) Be consistent

The only way results will show is through consistency. Work on yourself every day and stay on top of it.

3) Be confident in your abilities

Confidence is a huge factor that plays into this concept. Know who you are and what you can achieve in any given space.